okay , i tried ..... ♥ [changed title] ignoreeee

manng , i really dont know what to say .
if it is really true , then ... it'd be all bad .
- well here i go with the case that everything is really forreal .

i never knew that you actually felt that way
never knew that it was so genuine
reminincing those days that we had back in the day
missing all those talks , calls and laughs that we had
wishing that i can go back to those days where everything was just fine
where i was able to talk to you with no hestitation
now , not knowing how youll take my approach , im tryna suck up and be real witchu
so please dont be too harsh or too hard on me , i jhuss wanna get back to how we were even if it seems impossible now
believe it or not , youre on
my mind constantly , not literally 24/7 buhht youre always at the back of my mind
now that im thinking back , to those days that passes by
i read all those convs. that we had and thought that i
was blinded at the time and didnt see what was riite
only if i had a state of mind that told me that it was time
to relize
i wish i can get you back , youre like the most special thing ive lost
thought that it was too good to be true but ,
i want it back
i miss you .

Brian McKnight

Mmm, mmm
Alright, yeah
Listen

Baby, can you put them bags down
Just wait hold on for a minute
Gotta say a couple things before you go
Even though I know that we're finished

I don't want you to leave without knowin'
Just where I'm comin' from, babe
I just wanna say I made a big mistake
And now I gotta face the fact that I

Shoulda been a better man
The kinda man that you needed
Woulda been better off
If I done right by you

I coulda done this, I coulda done that
But I know I can't go back
'Cause now it's just too late
I'm sayin' shoulda woulda coulda, yeah

I can tell by the look on your face
You ain't tryin' to hear what I'm sayin'
Maybe you done heard all of this before
To her this ain't no game that I'm playin'

This may be the last chance I ever have
To talk to you before you go
So I gotta say I made I big mistake
Girl, you know it's killin' me that I

Shoulda been a better man
The kinda man that you needed
Woulda been better off
If I done right by you

I coulda done this, I coulda done that
But I know I can't go back
'Cause now it's just too late
I'm sayin' shoulda woulda coulda, yeah

I should have done my best to love you, baby
I should have placed no one above you
And now it's killin' me more than you know
Letting you, that's why I...girl, I know that I shoulda

Shoulda been a better man (Coulda been a better man to you, baby)
The kinda man that you needed (Shoulda been there for
you every time you needed me)
Woulda been better off (Every time you called me)
If I done right by you (And you know that I coulda done this)

I coulda done this, I coulda done that (Coulda done that, yeah)
But I know I can't go back (You know I can't go back, baby)
'Cause now it's just too late (All I know need to know
is, girl, all I need to know is)
I'm sayin' shoulda woulda coulda, yeah (Do you love me
like you used to, baby)

I know I shoulda, yeah
I know I woulda, yeah (All the things I coulda done)
I know I coulda been a better man (All the things I shoulda done)
Said I shoulda woulda coulda, yeah (Sayin' shoulda
woulda coulda, yeah)

I know I shoulda, yeah (Yeah)
I know I woulda, yeah (Cooulda woulda shoulda)
I know I coulda been a better man
Said I shoulda woulda coulda, yeah (Yeah)

ASDHAKDHKASHDJKAHDLS

UHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHADHASHDL]
!@#$%^&%$#@$%^&*^%@#!$%&*&#$@!#$%&^*()*&^%$#@!~@#$%^*(o
OHHH MY GOSHHH !!!!!!!!
I JUST WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHINGG !!
FREAKING AAA !
ADHAKLSHDKLASDHLIAHFIcbLAIFBDLCUIKB,M ZMXBVLAFBS,DFBLsdb
WTFFF WTFF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF .
'
THIS SPACE IS TOO LITTLE TO FIT MY ANGERRR !
ADHLAKJDAKJDNAKJDNAD
BLOGER IS NOT GOOD TO RELEASE ANGER !
FFFCKCKK
FML
FML
FML

winter break ?

yeah , so im done making the cupcakes .
now , im just waiting for him to call . ehhh , its been so long . danng .
butt , im thinking of deleting my myspace account , myspace keeping my facebook ?
iono . but yeaah . ehh .
christmas is almost here ! && im going up to the mountains to go snowboarding ! (: haha , i cant wait ..

so i think this is what i'll be doing this winter break .
wednesday - going up to Mercer Island to see G-ma
thursday - christmas eve , christmas special service at church
friday - christmas day ! going snowboarding !
saturday - time with the fam bam !
sunday~wednesday - going to church winter lock in/ camp in church (:
thursday - new year ? i think . . . w/ the fam bam !
friday - church (: && rest
saurday - iono , yettt .
sunday - church all day ? haha .

yeahhhh , if anyones going to diamond during break !!!! GET DIALINNN !
orrr , if any parties going down , hit me up , let me know wasssup (:
253 347 9467 (:

yhup ;

study group ! (:
joanna and nikki @ jw's crib after school today .
then baking cupcakes ,
& tryna go and buy some star oragami paper for xmas present ! <3

text me

cupcake list ! (:

1. Deveon Isaac
2. Nikki Molina
3. Alison Baluca
4. Joanna Wu
5. Jason Eng
6. Patrek Martin
7. Dalvyn Morris
8. Nave Dhesi
9. Mohamed Madani
10. Charlie Singh

this is just temporary ! (:
arriiittte ?

hustler

oh jeez , headahces are back again .
I got a A- on the Japanese test ): I thought I had an A . aish .
8/10 on the Chemistry Quiz ?! WTF , I swear . only if I had put Phosphite instead of Phosphide . FCK . !@#$%*&^%$#@

its finally Friday , had a long week .
& not going to diamond today ):
!@#$%^&*(&^%$#@!#$%^&*(&^%$#@ UHHH .
so gay , gotta work tomorrow , gayerrr !
no $$$$$ GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY !!!

getting my driving test soon , got my certificate ! (: yhhup ..
somebody call me , text me , or whatever .
Make my day , make me smile , make me laugh or whatever , lets have fun .
253 347 9467

for now .

wow , i needa get christmas presents for people . FML , i have no money . & their getting me something so i needa do something , !@#$%^&*

- Deveon Issak
- Nikki Molina
- Mohmaed Madani
- Jason Eng
- Patrek Martin
- Esther So
- Pastor Annie
- Pastor Leslie
- Daniel Obba
- Charlie Singh
- Alison Baluca
- Joanna Wu
- .

[ dang , iono . iono , if i needa get some of the other people presents or not . gah x.x ]

결혼해 줄래

결혼해 줄래
omg omg omg .
its like , that one feeling when you see DBSK , FT Island, F4, Super Junior, 2PM, or Big Bang or something like that in front of your eyed . AHHH !

나랑 결혼 해 줄래?
나랑 평생을 함께 살래?
우리 둘이 알콩달콩 서로 사랑하며
나 닮은 아이 하나 너 닮은 아이 하나 낳고
천년만년 아프지 말고 난 살고 싶은데
솔직히 말해서 내가 널 더 좋아해
남자와 여자사이엔 그게 좋다고 하던데
내가 더 사랑할게 내가 더 아껴줄게
눈물이 나고 힘이 들 때면 아플 때면 함께 아파할게
평생을 사랑할게 평생을 지켜줄게
너만큼 좋은 사람 만난 걸
감사해 매일 너만 사랑하고 싶어
나랑 결혼해 줄래

Rap) Marry me 매일이 행복에 겨워서
괜시리 내일이 기대 되는 사람
왜이리 왜이리 떨리는 걸까
보고 또 봐도 내겐 제일인 사랑
검은머리 파뿌리 될 때 까지
우리 둘의 생이 다 끝날 때 까지
손에 물은 묻혀도 눈에 눈물 절대 안 묻혀

넌 나의 반쪽 가슴 난 너의 반쪽 가슴 되어
숨을 쉬는 그 순간순간 널 사랑해 줄께
시간이 지나서 주름이 늘어나도
꼭 지금처럼 너와나 영원히 함께 할 거야
내가 더 사랑할게 내가 더 아껴줄게
눈물이 나고 힘이 들 때면 아플 때면 함께 아파할게
평생을 사랑할게 평생을 지켜줄게
너만큼 좋은 사람 만난 걸 감사해 매일 너만 사랑하고 싶어

Rap) 너는 마치 어두웠던 내 삶을 밝혀주는 빛
보글보글 찌개소리로 반겨주는 집
매 말랐던 내 맘에 내려주는 비
사랑이란 참 의미가 담겨있는 시
하늘이 정해 준 운명의 끈
너와 나의 만남은 천생연분
이 세상을 다준대도 바꿀 수 없는 내 삶엔 오직 평생 너뿐

내가 더 사랑할게 내가 더 아껴줄게
눈물이 나고 힘이 들 때면 아플 때면 함께 아파할게
평생을 사랑할게 평생을 지켜줄게
너만큼 좋은 사람 만난 걸 감사해 매일 너만 사랑하고 싶어
나랑 결혼해 줄래

OH YHUP !

A+ on the Chemistry TEST ! WHOOOO ~ ahahah (:
105 % i love extra credit !

first snow

haha yesterday was the first snow fall this year (: i was really happy , it wouldve been better if i couldve spent it with him but . it was better than nothing , i got to play in the snow with Francis , my old best friend . ahah , i missed him . it was fun babysitting the kids [not really] and going to paldo and talking (: ahaha . BBFF !? it was really nice getting to reunite on friday and chill for a bit on sunday . haha , i think we're going to hang out during winter break (: fun fun fun ! he's such a good playmate ahahha . let it snow let it snow let it snow !

i . dont . know !

what is painful and pleasuring at the same time ?
----------------------------------------------------
wow , i needa get back on study mode .
i've been sluffin so much this year , i remember last year when i was more on top of things , sophomore year really isn't any easier than freshmen year . i miss middle school and elementary school . i wish i was a kid again .

i've been having a feeling of wanting a kid , but . its going to grow , and i want it to be a baby forever . ahaha , doesn't even make sense but whatever .

andrew is going back to Germany , on Wednesday ):
yhup , its sad . >__<"

got a chemistry test today on electron configuration , i love chemsitry .
& i got a chapter 4 ib precalc test tomorrow , and a big japanese test on friday .

i can't wait till break , a week and a day left ! i cant wait . christmas is almost here , & yesterday was the first snow fall (: ahah , it was so pretty and fun (:

text me ! + whatever .

did you know ...

Phineas And Ferb ! (:

(ive been singing this the whole day since 1st period !)
There's 104 days of summer vacation
And school comes along just to end it
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it

Like maybe...

Building a rocket
Or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Discovering something that doesn't exist (Hey!)
Or giving a monkey a shower

Surfing tidal waves
Creating nanobots
Or locating Frankenstein's brain (It's over here!)

Finding a dodo bird
Painting a continent
Or driving your sister insane (Phineas!)

As you can see
There's a whole lot of stuff to do
Before school starts this fall (Come on Perry)

So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb
Are gonna do it all
So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are
Gonna do it all!
(Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!)

12/11 is finally here

wow .
one more hour .
sigh ...
PRAY PRAY PRAY !

i wish i can be there ):
i miss you .

loss

nothing i can do ,
its not like i can get you back .
i feel so dead without you
it hasnt even been that long
. . . yet , made the biggest scar

it gets harder and harder by the day ,
never knew , a heartache felt this way .

i miss you more than anything ,
11 : 11 , i wish . . .

think of me

oh yhup .
today is STUDAY ! (:
Haha , Library after school with teh bruh .
I really hope the Kent Library re-opens soon .
2 more months till i start whippin ! (: haha
i miss you ):


one more day left .
god of second chances ,
please help him and let things go down all good !

&& can't wait till winter break >__<"

Every girl thinks she can change a player, but the truth is, it's not the player that needs to change, it's the girl. Because every player is on a mission to find that one girl that makes him lose his desire to play.

253 347 9467

he said to me

ahhh ! he's amazing ! (:
i love you babe ! <3
you're the best ! ! !

thank you baby (:
i miss you

YOU !

I ...
AM ..
SO !

FREAKING .
SIICK AND TIRED OF YUO !
OMGGGGGGGGG !.

GET OUT OF HERE .

yhup ; yup ; yep .

YEAP !
YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEPP !
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppp !

(:

"YUP!"
(:

THATS RIGHT BEEITCH (:

da da dummm !
my bad !!!!! ):





.............. blehhh
assembly today . gahh x.x

my boo (:

baby i love you like . . .

ahahaha iono .
but im glad i got to talk to you via text ! (:
ahah , cus for more than half of our relationship you didnt have a phone >__<"
gayyy , yeahh . but its getting disconnected today . which is really. gay up the butthole. haha .
i cant wait will tonight ! (: ahhh ~ :D
heh heh heh .
guess what . . .
i love you this much --> .
ahahahahah JUST KIDDING !
i love you thiss muchhhh ! --> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The time it took to do just that times infinity. ahaha (:
yhhuup! i love you .
see you later tonight babee , i miss yoooh

heartbreaker ; ※

wow . that was great . it wasnt even 2 minutes .
i love you ? nope .
i missed you ? nope .
thank you ? nope .
letters ? NOPE ! [he said that he forgot , so . . . you couldnt stop by your house and get those?]

good day , just gone bad . . . with something that i thought would make my day even better 99x times .

sigghh ; came home late . didnt even start on my homework yet . sluffin .
had fun with thythy , but yeah .

I FELT REAL SPECIAL .
i love SPENCER ! ♥

couldnt even remember O828O9 on 1128O9 , i cant believe i thought youd be able to remember to bring those letters back . so stupid of me . ehhh ,

parents are home now .
byee & g'nitte .

x[

wooh whoo

YAY ! (:
SCORED 100% on the Ion Quiz !
Friday -> 2nd Quiz
WOOOH ~
1st day of December , school day ; ayye okaayyy (:
:D

ahhhh !

OMG ! Guess what !?!!? GUESS WHAT ?!?!?!? ahahah
I GOT A LETTERR ! (:
:D :D :D
yeeeeee ~
ahahahhahaha whooot .
days already so goood

yhup .

Bye-bye November and hello December ! (: Haha , so far so good baby . Haha , first day of December by favorite month , and its not because my birthday is in there , because my birthday is in February , and February isnt really my favorite month so yeah . But its because December has the happiest times of the year , winter break , the pretty snow , christmas day , new years eve, and all those fun filled events there are . ahah (: but , if things go well next Friday then everything would be 100x more better , if things really dont go down good , then things wont be so good . lets hope for the best ! (: the very last thing that i think of before my is over the very first thing that i think of when i wake up in the morning , is you . and the first thing i say is goodmorning babe and kiss the ring (: ahaha , dont call me a freak or stalker , cus im NOT ! blehh , i just really miss you .

after school going to down to FHS go meet up with my homegurl from '07 days . ahah , i miss you ! x] blehhh , see you soon unni !

photography is getting to be kinda wack . blehhh , peasshhh ! be back laterrr .

Bunz - New Boyz

ahah yeahh , makes me laugh (:
she had a apple bottom skinny waist
shake dem bunz all in my face
5-6 super freak
tell all da homies dat she got

bunz, bunz bunz (said she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (sh-she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (said she got...)

i like big bunz and i can not lie (lie)
so if you got some and i see you walk by (by)
ima get up tap you say hi (hi)
take you to my room tap you then bye (bye)
naw im jus playin
still got bunz but ya friend needa stop cuz
she aint got none
i like my bunz fat and juicy
i dont want no saggy bootie
tryna do me naw
you can stop
i aint touchin nothin 'less the bootie pop
got a milli like man cuz i gota wait
if you aint got money betta fly dat away
tell wolf pac dat the chick needed change
bootie bounce pop or my chick bounce lame
it keeps going
got too much fuel
she dont got a donk this gurl gat a mule

she had a apple bottom skinny waist
shake dem bunz all in my face
5-6 super freak
tell all da homies dat she got

bunz, bunz bunz (said she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (sh-she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (said she got...)

(said she got bunz)
ben j
o yep dat me
and im lookin for a gurl with a dub i.d.
and a gurl who can drink dats mixed wit freak
now its time too got to war wit a mixed bootie
i can see dis gurl want more
now she dealin wit her man
nope man didnt go
got a old school swagg wit a new cant go
wit her bunz nice slate on a black range rove
checkin those bunz dis gurl got back
and i think she got back cuz her mama got back
and her sister got back
and her granny got back
but her auntie got none
but dey all got bunz (and...)

i got swagg to handle it right
and you gon get it tonight
and once i put it on you you gon feel it feel it alright (she had a...)

apple bottom skinny waist
shake dem bunz all in my face
5-6 super freak
tell all da homies dat she got

bunz, bunz bunz (said she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (sh-she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (said she got...)

bunz
where da chick wit da bunz
check her real fast
look like she havin fun
chick's super hard boy
betta not run
packin does bunz like her bootie is a gun
probly had bunz since da day she was 1
bunz so thick she could block out the sun
cant take two walk pass
need 1
dis the new thing so we all have fun
boom in the club but before we was done
she bought me a drink and we both got drunk
now we at the crib
we both throwin up
but its all good cuz she still wanna hump
and i bang bang bang til the sun came up
hit the new boyz say come pick me up
den dey pulled up to the front
den i hopped in da trunk
den i told a story bout da gurl wit da bunz

she had a apple bottom skinny waist
shake dem bunz all in my face
5-6 super freak
tell all da homies dat she got

bunz, bunz bunz (said she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (sh-she got)
bunz, bunz bunz (said she got...)

said she got bunz

hmmm ; ♥

Haha , okay my boyfriend is gay ! ): blehhh , for keeping his status on myspace single , and having a video of him singing a song to another girl . uhh , i feel so special ! x] its really gay , it is really gay . i get so jealous of deveon and nikki always being able to see each other at school and give hugs to each other , and just basically see each other whenever they want . uhhh , i wishh i can do that with young . he forgot that i was our 3rd month on saturday , uhhh , it kinda pissed me off but whatever . we still havent really done anything major since we've been going out though . but hopefully , he can be able to come down to kent on friday and watch new moon with me , and maybe orlando and megan can come , cus i think they're the ones that giving the rides , and a double date with nikki and deveon . i still cant believe i lost those letters , they were so special to me . i read nikki's letter that deveon wrote for her for their one month , and it made me miss those letters even more . !@#$%^&*(^&%#$@!@#$%^&* i want them back dang it ! ): i never missed someone so much before , blehhh . i wish i can just be with him 24/7 and feel his warm touches , and all that good stuff . i wanna run away to the north pole or something , iono . lets just all fly up to heaven . i miss hearing his voice on the phone before i go to sleep at night , and his good night kisses ): only if i had my L and my car , then i'd be all good to go . mmmh , 2 more months left ! (: i cant wait ! heh heh heh . tomorrow is the first day of december ! (: yeeeeeee ~ lets hope things get betterr !

i love you baby ; ♥
& g'niite evr'boody

STUDY ! Chemistry (: I love Chemistry <3

Vanadium p+= 23 no= 22.9415 e-= 23
Nitrogen p+= 7 no=7.0067 e-= 7
Argon p+= 18 no= 21.948 e-= 18
Potassium p+= 19 no= 20.0983 e-= 19
Platinum p+= 78 no= 117.084 e-= 78

5 protons boron
17 protons chlorine
25 protons manganese
82 protons lead
92 protons uranium

Ion with 12 protons and 10 electrons 12 24Mg2+
Ion with 74 protons and 68 electrons 74 178W6+
Ion with 95 protons and 89 electrons 95 243Am148-
Ion with 33 protons and 36 electrons 33 74As3-
Ion with 29 protons and 27 electrons 29 63Cu2+

59 28Ni2+ p+= 28 no= 31 e-= 26
91 40Zr4+ p+= 40 no=51 e-= 36
14 058Ce3+ p+= 58 no= 82 e-= 55
79 34Se2- p+= 34 no= 45 e-= 36
45 21Sc3+ p+= 21 no= 24 e-= 18
13 6C4- p+= 6 no= 7 e-= 10

84 protons, 125 neutrons, and 80 electrons 209 84Po4+
27 protons, 32 neutrons, and 25 electrons 59 27Co2+
73 protons, 108 neutrons, and 68 electrons 180 73Ta5+
31 protons, 39 neutrons, 28 electrons 69 31Ga3+

Alpha: 231 91Pa -> 42α + 227 89Ac
Beta: 223 87Fr -> 0-1β + 223 88Ra
Alpha: 149 62Sm -> 42α + 145 60Nd
Beta: 165 61Pm -> 0-1β + 165 62Sm
Alpha: 249 101Md -> 42α + 245 99Es
Alpha: 146 62Sm -> 42α + 142 60Nd
Beta: 198 85At -> 0-1β + 198 86Rn
Alpha: 150 64Gd -> 42α + 146 62Sm
Beta: 152 54Xe -> 0-1β + 152 55Cs
Beta: 120 55Cs -> 0-1β + 120 56Ba

one in a million

I've been going through so much lately, and I haven't really told anyone about anything that's been happening except for my brotha deveon. He's been helping me alot through so many different things and had my back like no other. I'm glad I have a friend like him, makes me feel more loved. There are so many things thats been bothering me, so many things, people bleh. I wish I can just run away to peace where there are no distractions but the sound of peace and the feel of comfort that you feel even if you may be miles away. I've met so many different people in the past year, and learned many things. Made countless amount of mistakes and learned from them. I've lost my closest ones and important things that belonged to me, and they're things that I can't get back, but they're the obstacles that God put me through to make me stronger, and theres nothing that I can do to avoid those things. It's already the last day of November and it feels like November just started, time just passes by like its nothing, but so much happens in that time. I hope things improve and get better in December. I've had so many wishes and hopes this month, and I've been praying about so many things. I've improved on personal subjects, but made mistakes, when I knew better. I think I might've gotten a cold from all that freezing during the weekend ): Like he said to her on that piece of paper, I wish that WE can have more time together with each other than the time that we have missing each other. NMN+DI. I've been falling so far away from God lately, and it's not as easy as I thought it would be to get back. I'm trying to make things easier for everyone... but I don't know if things are working out. I havent been going to youth group for over a month now, and I'm still debating on if I should be going back or not. I wish I had Deveon and Nikki with me there, but they can't be there. I should be taking a different path in life right now, and making the right decisions unlike those that I've been making nowadays. Deveon, proved a good point to me and told me that I know better and that I shouldn't be doing the things that I'm doing right now, and be taking a different path in life. But if I do take the other path in life, instead of falling into the trap that I've been fallin into to take the path that I don't seek, is to be losing YOU. & I don't want that to happen, I know things can change and I can keep you at the same time. So I really hope my plan works out, I needa be to more out there with my opinions, and get my head back in the game, and stand up back onto my feet and be more productive, cus I've been sluffin big time these days. I need my superman with the red cape to come save me from all this danger and take me back, hello ? My prince charming, where art thou ?

There's nothing in this world
There's not another boy that could make me feel so sweet
Cos he fills up my life
Like the sun, he shines bright
Boy, come with me now

11/26/09

yeahh , im so tired . couldnt even sleep well last night . . . did too much of that "thinking" . ehh ~ mann , i dont know . i feel so lost without them ! they're so important to me , they're like . . . IMPORTANT ! & even Nikki and Deveon knows that I'd go crazy over them . & its GONE ! ):
but , I'm glad that I have a brotha like Deveon . He said that he would help me find it , and go to all the stores that we went to yesterday after school and to all the classrooms and see if he can find it for me . hopefully , i can find it . i feel like so much of me missing ! i want to smile like how i do when i read those little things . they may not mean so much to you , but to me , its one of the most important things in my life . its the only thing that i had that HE gave to ME .
& i dont know how to tell him . i feel horrible , i feel so bad right now , i just want to run away . uhhh . he's probably going to be so disappointed ): he's been waiting so long , and so paitiently . . . dang , its going to suck seeeing him disappointed . but , i really do hope that everythings going to be alright .

WHY !? did this have to happen now . . .
_________ happy thanksgiving everyone !

i miss yooooh .
)":

): why ? ;

TODAY IS JUST NOT MY DAY ! FORREAL !
sighhh ,
i didnt get to talk to young all day today ):
i didnt feel good at all today , & had a heartburn for over 9 hours .
& i found out that i didnt have my wallet and that i lost it about 40 minutes ago .

i dont know where he's at , or what he's doing or who he is with , and this heartburn is just plain h*ll, and my wallet ? ):
the most important thing ...
my permits in there , my school id , all my money, and most of all the letters that i wrote to young , "love letter #6,7,8,9,10" are in there , and most importantly ... that one thing that always made me happy whenever i am down , and feeling drowzy , that one thing that makes me happy and smile whenever im sad and just not in a good mood ; the letters that HE wrote for me . those that made me smile like nothing else in this whole world can , and made me feel as if i was in heaven for just that minute , that one thing that makes me so happy is gone now . and i cant find it anymore .
its so hard to contact him , talk to him , hear his voice, and most of all just see him .
i'm suppose to go to puyallap on friday and spend the night there and come back on saturday , but i dont have the money for the movie that i was going to watch which i've been waiting for a week "new moon" and buying him ggampungi ; his favorite , at the korean resturant and see him eat filled with joy and the money for taking the pictures in the photobooth ; to capture the special moment in my life . and i made him wait , and he hadn't heard the good news yet , and im so sorry for making you wait . . . . . . . for nothing , now that i dont have any money .
now everything is ruined , my life is so ridiculous , nothing gets any better .
and things been just getting worse , i cant take it anymore , and sometimes i just want to give up on everything , but theres just that one thing that keeps me going ...

the only thing that i truly want for christmas this year ; is to keep you in my arms forever and not letting you go , to keep you in life and not seeing you off , to keep you as mine and only mine forever , and experience all things that i havent with you for the rest of my life .

[ those dreams that i've had for 3 days strait . . . the 3rd night ; the dream of loss . i think this is what it meant by loss , but whats next if the 3rd night was just that . . . what'll happen with the 2nd ? ]
God please help me out here , hollla backk ! i cant hear you , & i keep begging for more , and asking you to help me , i pray and pray about it 24/7 , and i still havent gotten the feeling . . . is everything going to alright ? ]

i miss you babe , i miss you . be safe and dont get into any trouble kay ? be good , and dont be doing bad things . i love you , sweet dreams , goodnight & sleep tight dont let the bed bugs bite . [i wish you were here to say "& keep your butthole tight"]

my list

*things that i want to do with my boo*
- kissing in the rain
- kissing in the snow
- couple ring
- watching the sunset/rise
- going shopping together @ the mall
- walking on the beach
- taking pictures in a photobooth
- couple tee & actually wearing them haha
- watching a movie at the movie theater
- eating cotton candy together
- going to a park
- having a picnic
- going to the mountains to snowboard
- going to the sauna
- going to NRB
- cooking together
- matching PJ's
- attending a dance together
- making snow angels in the snow
- experiencing the first snow fall w/

I WANT THIS !

Christmas 2009

ahaha , danng ! Christmas is almost coming up , it seems like 2008 just ended .
Haha , I will never forget '09 summer , and the people that i met in '09 and all those crazy things that i went through . ahah , even more than the november and december of 2008 . ahaha , seems like it was just yesterday . i hope its a white christmas this year ! (: && i really wish that i can keep you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever yadiyadiyada ~ ahah. pictures with santa this year @ the carousel will be great ! <3 TU3 retake '09 . ahah . i love TU3 & will never forgett , ahah . its like a tradition , this time of the year .... ahaha . yeahhh
soo , you should check out my wish list for this year ! (:
ahahahaha ------------------------->

Part Of My Wish List (: #3

vspink.com
$25 crewneck + $25 signature pant
this is something that i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get for christmas more than that robe ! (: but still get it NIKKI :D

Part Of My Wish List (: #2

americaneagleoutfitters.com

Part Of My Wish List (:

bathandbodyworks.com
& nikki's getting me to robe (:

hmp .

nehh ! i agree ! i want snow ~ ahaha , it'd be so great if i experience the first snow day with younginn ! (: & if it was a white christmas it'd be so pretty . lol ,
me and nikki went to our favorite store in kent station while waiting for the meeting at city hall to start again . but mannn , i fell in love ! ahah i love that store , it made me miss younginn more than i already am . i wish i can own that place (: mmmmmh , working @ a slaughterhouse killing animals ? hmmm , ahaha . yeeeeah , I LOVE DERRICK SAN ! (: ahahaha , <-- there you go lil' buddy , ahaha i put you on my blogg ! pshhh , better feeel luckkyy <3 lol . yeeeeeeeee ~ thats all i want to say for now , brb ! later toniitte , possibly . (: ahaha .

peeeeeeasssssssssssh .
I LOVEE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUNG CHO FOREVER !
[ & YOU ! needa back off and not get into my business , cusss ! you dont know me , i dont know you , and i dont like it when YOU get into my business and talking sheit bout me when you dont even know me . ARIIITE !? i hear from you once again , next time i see you , we're going to talk ! :D ]

i try ... i fail ...

gah x.x
i fail in life .
i swear , i had all of them down .
and i was right too !
i think the answer sheet was wrong or something .
but its better than waiting to see if you got it right or wrong like regular KM , we get out score as soon as we're done .
only if i said CO32- for carbonide instead of Co32-
and NH4+ instead of Nh4+ for Ammonium , i never shouldve changed it .
EFFF!

glee ! (:

yeeee ~
getting out of school @ 10:50am tuesday and wednesday && no school thursday and friday ! (: ahaha
CWI Sustainability Project is due 24th , Final is due 25th .
Things Fall Apart Group Project of English Due 30th
Kanji-Hiragana Test Tomorrow in Japanese
Ions Quiz Today in Chemistry
IB Pre-Calculus Chapter 3 Part 2 Test Tomrrow

I cant wait till this weekend ! (: ahhh , super excited ! :D hope mother says YES , hopefully .

-------
nehh ~ ive had this dream for 3 days , it all connects . its so strange and so scary . sighh , i hope everything will be alright though .

yessh ! out of 4th CWI and LUNCH in about ..... 8 minutes ? ahah woooh ~
i miss younnggg ~ ):

<3

ahahah ! (:
yeahhh , i dont know . another sunday went byebye .
i don't like it , i really don't . uhhh ,
but oh well , like i can really do anything about it +_____+
i cant wait till the weekend !! im super excitedd !
I FREAKING MISS YOUNNGGGG !
gahh x.x

i wish i can fly . ahahah (:
wooow , my wallet feels so much more thinner whithout all of the thick letters in there . ahahah . mmmmh, i want to watch new moon ! nehhh , saturday better come fast !
& getting off of school @ 12:00 tuesday and wednesday ! cheyyahhh ! (:
ahhaha i miss deveon too ): ehhh , oh well , i get to see hinm tomorrow anywayss .aahaha .


let make tomorrow a happy day ! :D i wanna be happy tomorrow ! (: aahaha ,

I LOVE YOU BABE ! <3


ps ; zack is my new pen pal ! (: ahahha yayyyy ! lets exchange letters sonn (:

love said to me . . . today ;

chyeeeh boii ! (:
hahaha , just got home ;
mmmh , boo came down to Kent for the first time now .
&& it was more for the money than anything else , but it was better than nothing ,
ahahah (: im just glad that i saw him , and i get to see him tomorrow too (: ahhh ~
we got a couple ring today too , its not formal and its not fake , but its cute and simple ~ (:
- getting a couple ring
checked on the list of what i want to do when i get a boyfriend ,
- kissing in the rain ! ^^*
ahaha did that today too (: mmmmhm , for the first time too . it was amazing & i loved it . ahaha now i can say that i've kissed in the rain before ! (:
2 check marks down on my list all in one day , woow ! isnt that great ?! ahahaha :D

but i lost something today , i hope i can get most of it back tomorrow though . ive been waiting for it for for than 3 months for it ): but you have to make some sacrafices for the love one riite ? sighhh , i miss it already ): i feel . . . so blehhh , butt !@#$%^& yeahh . . .

mmmmh , i missed him so much and i got to see him before next weekend , and it makes it even better that i get to see him tomorrow ! (: ahahaa , i met spencer and orlando today , they're actually pretty cool , especially spencer (: even if he's kinda short , i was surprised , almost my height , but cute ! ^^* ahahah , Orlando seemed to be . . . blank , i couldnt really tell his expression but from what i saw it wassnt that much of a good mood , but im still glad that i got to see them . ahah i hope we can have fun next weekend , i cant wait .

i want to go to the thing on 12/11 but , he says that he doesnt want me there . but things will go down all good hopefully . i pray about it everyday , everynight , every morning and once before every meal i take . i never prayed so hard and so much for one person in my whole life , but i know that God will let things go all good . & like he once said to me before , there're are good reasons behind everything that happens , and things dont happen just because . even if i miite not be there to see him that day , he'd better off without me there . maybe its because he doesnt want me to see him like that . . . but , if he insists , theres nothing i can really do but just wait . its going to worry me alot and it is riite now . but pray pray pray and hope things will be ayeee okayy ! (: ahaha [ datt ryhmess (: ]

28th will be the last day i will see him before 12/11 , and i have a feeling that im going to miss him the most and want to see him to most till the next time i see him after 11/28 . we're going to have lots of fun , and laugh alot , and make many memories we can cherish forever in just one day .

i never thought that one person can make me so happy , and keep me on my heels everyday . . . but even if some think that its just infactuation , sometimes i think its real love . & i hope we will last forever . cus i can see it (:
he said something that i wont forget , ahaha <3 his warm heart and loving self will always confort me and make me smile anyday . his laughter will fill my heart with joy and take all stress off my mind , and his smile will make me smile and make my day , his kisses never get old and is never cold , and his warm hugs will make me love him even more and anyday .

lemme just say , before i do anything else toniittee . . .
I LOVE YOU YOUNG CHO , and i really mean it (:

november 20th

i cant wait till OLOT ! (:
ahahaha , people were getting super buck during lunch today ~
ahhh , i needa date before decemeber 5th ,
rawrrrr ~


can't wait till next weekend !!
happy one month nikki and deveon ~ <3

headache again

i havent had a headahce for a while , and here we go again with this headache .
ahhh , advil anyone ?!
uhh , i hate CWI .
i don't like school anymore .
i just cant wait till next weekend shoot

NEW MOON came out today , but cant watch it till next saturday .
):


HAPPY ONE MONTH BROTHA ~
............................... & NIKKI .
ahaha

<3 - awh

deveon and nikki , are so cute ^^*
just do it [nike swoosh]

Buttface

i miss buttface ):
i miss buttface ):
i miss buttface ):

what happened to "buttface & crackerpole" ?
ughh .

Deven Issak & Nikki Molinaa

deveon and nikki .
i love you ~

Tweet ! Twitter !

OKAY !
WHY DO YOU CARE ?!
JUST LEAVE IT , IGNORE IT , BLOCK IT OR SOMETHING G'DMIT .
!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@$%^&*()*&^%$#@!

Quater 1

My grades never looked so ugly in my life , its so disgusting it makes pig mud look fresh and clean . i wish this year was as easy as freshmen year . this is really sad .

uhhh , i cant wait till next year , it's going to be so much more easier .
+_______+


i can't wait till next weekend so i can relieve my stress and feel better dang its .
uhhhh ... fml.


+ Quater 1 just ended . TODAY

Rain

rain rain go away , come again some other day
if you dont i dont know care
i'll pull down your underwear ~

nikki and deveon got to walk in the rain even before 10/20
&& me and young didnt even walk in the rain since 08/28
when they got to run in the rain ):

rain rain go away come again some other day .
[the weather man is snoring... freaking WAKE UP and make the sun shine dang it .]

Frozen Yogurt & Bubble Tea

i want some frozen yogurt .
i havent had bubble tea or frozen yogurt for a minute .
shooot , going to federal way next weekend will be the solution to this problem ! (:

being a girl sucks , on youre 20 sumn day.

!@#$%^&*()&%^$#@!

!@#$%^&*()&^%$#@!@#$*(&^#$@!~@#$%^&*
uhhh , how i hate this day so much .
school was great , but things got bad when i get home .
LIKE ALWAYS .

and i just freaking messed up and pissed off my boo .
aughh , fml .




byeeee ~

November 18th 2009

the poem that i just wrote for the english reading project sounds cheezy now . uhh . i dont know if should submit that now , but whatever . I was doing so good with the whole no cussing thing untill mo-mo made me cuss in McDee's today after school . Now i have to start all over again tomorrow . if i cant make a day before friday , im gonna cry ): but spencers birthday is the 27th ehhh ? ahaha , hmmmm . i still cant wait untill next weekend , aha . finished the math homework , and i think i did good on the math test make up quiz thing in IB Pre-Calculus today ! The 1st Shooting Assignment in Studio Photography is not working out for me . But , I'll find a way to get a A for it . Japanese Culture Points are due tomorrow , gay . I don't even see why we need to be doing that anyways . CWI is gay like always , but the project is pretty easy . The new project in English is okay ~ ahah , I like my team ; Nikki, Deveon and Jason (: Just got a bill today ! Wooo ~ ahah . I LOVE READING ! (: & i love it when my baby sings songs for me . ahah , makes me happy .

words that rhyme with orange ?
uhhhmmm .
top 53 words @ http://slices-of-life.com/2007/09/05/top-53-words-that-rhyme-with-orange/

Poetry Sneak Peak

yeahh .
after school study ! (: ahaha
stairs with patrek, jason and da brotha !
quater ends tomorrow , && late start was today .

a week and 2 days left ! (: ahaha i can't wait till the break ~

sneak peak !
RP, RT
Wrong place, wrong time
Keep headstrong and boldface
Sister dies, feeling wanting to fly into the sky
Nothing feels right, didn’t even get to say goodbye
Checking to see if they’re insight nearby, keeping myself on standby
Feeling purple, like you’re in a whirlpool, hurtful, going in circles, just a handful
Dangerous, taking major risks, game on us, never pointless
It’s like running a marathon, one asks what’s wrong, then answers and says that she is gone
Mission incomplete, sinks and weep on the toilet seat
I have the real gentle stillness, which causes the severe mental illness
Dead folks say goodbye, you chocked on your lines and see the lie in your eyes
Which make us realize the real thing that made us live our lives, by keeping allies?
Deny that when it comes to high-rise that we cry, otherwise it complies to the denies that we made which theorize and unties the unwise
Knocked and locked again, behind those bars, being mocked and back again but
Knowing that there will be another time where the guilt for the real crime will come out in the meantime, and will look sublime
There is just one thing that will be circling in the hood and streets brawling like the aching in ones tooth
That it will come back to you again with the same, but triple the pain
Again with this tragedy,
With this vivid thing
Called REVENGE

Chemistry ; Ions

chemistry KILLS ! ughhh . the periodic table of elements and now memorizing IONS ?!
ohh jeeezz .
ammonium, NH4+
barium, Ba2+
aluminum, Al3+
lead(IV), Pb4+
copper(I), Cu+
acetate, C2H3O2-
carbonate, CO32-
carbide, C4-
bromide, Br-
nitride, N3-
hydrogen, H+
calcium, Ca2+
copper(II), Cu2+
chromium(III), Cr3+
silicon(IV), Si4+
chlorate, ClO3-
chloride, Cl-
chromate, CrO42-
dichromate, Cr2O72-
phosphate, PO43-
lithium, Li+
iron(II), Fe2+
lead(II), Pb2+
tin(IV), Sn4+
cyanide, CN-
fluoride, F-
oxalate, C2O42-
oxide, O2-
phosphide, P3-
mercury(II), Hg2+
potassium, K+
silver, Ag+
magnesium, Mg2+
nickel(II), Ni2+
iron(III), Fe3+
hydride, H-
hydroxide, OH-
iodide, I-
peroxide, O22-
phosphite, PO33-
sodium, Na+
tin(II), Sn2+
zinc, Zn2+
nitrate, NO3-
nitrite, NO2-
permanganate, MnO4-
thiocynate, SCN-
sulfate, SO42-
sulfide, S2-
sulfite, SO32-


this is like ... albert einstein stuff !

Too Much ;

constant headaches , only goes away when im talking to the boo .
werid huh ?
headaches been building up everyday since friday during 3rd period till the end of the day . took some advil as soon as i got home , and felt so much better .
got some homework done ! the CWI project isnt hard at all , its actually pretty easy . the essay is done now , so out of the way ! (: ahaha , new english project and the labs are due tomorrow ! japanese is getting gayer than ever , but whatever .
cant wait till the break ! wooooh , so excited !!!

i <3 deveon issaaakk ! (: best brothaaa ebuuhh ~
i hate it when im not at school sometimes , so difficult !
sometimes , i really feel like killing myself .
life is so gay ! no one makes it alive anyways .

end of the quater is thursday , and so much for good grades ):

g'nite everyone !
& i love young cho ! puts a smile on my face , everyday ! :D

IDK

after school study-ish with patrek & deveon ! (:
blehh ~ ahahah lol .

bleeeep blopppp blooop bleehhhh
iono ,.

UGH

wassup with all these non-stop head aches that ive been having for 4 days strait since friday . its so bad ! ): i dont like it . . .

advil anyone ?

!@#$%^&*

I HATE MY NEW GROUP / SEATING IN CWI !
EFFFF

FREAKING DEVEON AND NIKKI ARE ALWAYS TOGETHER !
!@#$%&%(*&#$q$#@%!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!$

I LOVE YOU YOUNG CHO !

awhhh oh my goodneess ! hes so cute ~ ahhhh , got news for nikki and deveon tomorrow ! (: ahahahhaha shoooooooot , you made my dayy today ! i love you i love you i love you ! <3
woooooooooow , i cant believe it . no one can make me smile like you do !
my cheeks hurt now ! (:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
THANK YOU BABEE !
I LOVE YOUNG CHO ! forrrrrrrreaaaaaal !


MY BEAR !!! / monkey <3

Wuttebbuuh

i just dont care anymore .
its whatever ,
ughhh .

but i love my brothhhaa deveon isssakkk ! (:
ahahah


&&&& always + forever .
YOUNG CHO !

Blehh

suppuuhhh puumppped for tomorrrow ! (:
aahha , UW UW ! PICTURES ! (:
&& Summit ! WOOOO ~

going to KM @ 7:20ish ?
aahahhaa , (:

i love young cho !
& i lovee yaaah too brothaaa ~

Yeeeeeee

i needa say something right now !
ahhh , yeahhhh immmma fraekingg crack headd . shoot .
im freaking stupid as hell , [i know whos going to be laughing and cheeeezin when you be reading this !]
buhhht dang , i cant resist yourr butt no more .
asdhakjdhakdhajsdhljkdhlkahs
&& NIKKI IS SO STUPID SOMETIMES !

blehhh , i love you broohhhh ! (:

Major Head Ache

Ahhhh , major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache ! major head ache !


EPIC FAIL ! in 6th Period - Chemistry .

Friday

OHHH ! TODAYS FRIDAY !!!!!
hahaahhaha , wooow . Im sloww ~
--------------------------------
after school ?
NHS meeting @ 2:20
dance practice
& i wanna go to McDee's with dahh brotha ! (:
haha

Medical Issues

i always been wishing for blogger to have a little thing where we can see how many views were on each post we have . but uhh , no .
---
3rd period since ... head ache head ache head ache head ache ! uhh .
4th period ... freaking . . . . A!!! +___+ gayy , A word choice making S word !

================================================
i just want to go to lunch !

OH ~ but i got into NHS ! (: WOOOO ~
my SN was on the bottom so as i was going down the list i was loosing hope , but ahah , im happy ! (:

tech ; projectsss ! project after another then another untill the end .

You're A "B" Word

on the phone with the superhumann !!! (:
ahahahah
lmaooo .
ahahha iono mannn . shoot .
best friend doesnt even knwo her best friends freaking anniversary .
she said ..
"your 2nd month is in two weeks huh ?
ahaha
sike ! 3 months niggaaa shittt ,.
- then she saiiddd . on thee 23 rd ?

NOOO retarddd , 28th .
+_________+


goodnighttt !!! (:

BLEEEP

ahaha , danng . how come those days that i pick to be happy and filled with joy , is the day where i feel all gloomy inside and all i wanna do is just . . . sleep ? i told myself that i wasnt going to cuss for a whole week , but i said the S word today ): so i guess im starting over tomorrow . dance practice was , pretty okay i guess . i think our first performance is on the 3rd , and the winterfest jazz concert is . . . the 3rd was it ? but i have to set up for OLOT ! it sometimes sucks being class vice president . but its whatever ahah , its worth it for the time being . i finally finished my "things fall apart" essay . the end of the quater is coming up soon and progress reports are going out . seriously , life would be so much more easier with a car . I WANT MY CAR RIGHT NOW ! i can't wait 2.5 more months .

+
deveon always makes me happy , and nikki is just always there . && most of all just talking to my boo makes me happy ! anyday ! (: ahaha [i dont like being called boo or calling someone boo now because of .... AHEM ! *coughcough* but today is an expecption]
-
iono why , buht it seems like ive been thinking alot about the past and people . friends come and go . i remember someone saying this to me , but i just dont remeber who it was . i dont think i should be going down to Puyallap anymore though . . . it just seems like im making things harder for everyone there . i miss all of them ): IH,ES,JK,SK . gosh dang it . what to do . . . i need young ):

<3 yeahhh , well . . . lets wait till break and hope for the best ! (: && i just noticed something , ahah yesterday 11/11 is just one month before . wooow . lmao .

i love you young cho

BITCH !

ahahhaa yeeeeeeee nigggggguh .
youre a bitch nikki ! (:
ahahahah
i love youu
.
<3

School Time ! (:

its finally 6th period - chemistry . today wasn't slow or fast . i think it was just . . . neutral ~ wow , the pre-calculus test was a killer . UGH ! I really don't like the way Ms. Reed teaches . Wait, no . . . she doesnt teach . Too much of the tech teachers this year ; Skagen [Chemistry] Reed [IB Pre-Calculus] Fisher [CWI] are too much college based . I know that IB Pre-Calculus is a college class but , she just throws work at us , something that we've never even seen and expects us to know how to do it . . then out of no where BAM ! TEST !!! =.=;; I don't like the way she teaches , and same with Fisher , although she is getting better with her teachings . But Skagen , is probably the best out of these 3 . It's just his quizes and tests that everyone fails . But they're actually not that hard . haha . One thing that I hate the most is having a UNORGANIZED binder ! AHHH ~ I can't believe my own boy had a binder that was like . . . DDONG . literally took me almost freaking 40 minutes to organzied . he better keep it that way , shoot . but one thing that i like most is when i get new stuff for school like new binder , pencil , pen , paper , ahahah ! (: It makes me happy ~ LOL . I knowww , weirrdd . ahaha , but i like it ! (: anyways ! Im bouta switch to Kelly for math . ahah && Drake is still the one of the best teachers that i ever had ! (: ahahah DRAKE ~ gotta love herr ! <3

2nd Period - Japanese ?

ahahah , wow .
just got back from 1st - Studio Photography . I guess the body parts quiz/test was suppose to be today in Japanese , but Coble isnt here today !! WOOOOO ~ hahaha , dang , i feel bad for her sometimes cus no one likes her , but she is a B word sometimes . Haha , eh . Well , I'm glad that the body parts thing isn't today ! ~ (:
LOL , now for next period ? blehh ~ IB Pre-Calculus ; Chapter 3.1~3.3 Test . +__+ GREAT . Oh well . . . just wing it ! (: Haha .

today ; lets have a smile on our face day ! (:



OHHH ~ I wanna make a FREE HUGS sign .
&&every movie that we watch in Japanese , is wackk !

ahahahah my day ; today

i really dont know why , but on the way walking back to the bus stop on Meridian to head back down to Kent , i was really happy (: Haha . My day was pretty great , i guess . Tomorrow ; i have a test in IB Pre-Calculus , ehh ~ I hope I pass it ! (: Haha , I scored a perfect score on the Chemistry test yesterday ! (: haha 100% WOOT ! I was so happy , cus it was last minute for me and i didnt study for it . ahah , made me feel proud of myself .

Thing to keep in mind ;
1. IB Pre-Calculus Test Ch3.1~3.3
2. Shooting Assignment #1 Due Friday
3. Japanease ; Body Parts Quiz ?
4. "Things Fall Apart" Essay Due Monday ?
5. Combustion Lab Due Thursday
6. Dance Practice all day this week ?
7. SLC Presentation . appt;11/23
8. (: STUDY BIG TIME ! (:

blehhh ~ i think i needa be studying more . . . i have to be on that super "yulgong" status , before i fail life . 24/7 study study study ! ahaha . life would be so much more easier with a car ! UHHH , I WANT MY CAR RIGHT NOW !!!

minor goal ; trying not to cus for a week ? ahaha (:

i love my brother deveon ! (: & weirdo nikki molina ! their such a cute couple ! (: ahahha , i miss my baby already ! && i can't wait till the break !!! WOOOOO ~

PEE !

Oh my goodness, i needa go pee right now .
But I dont want to use my hall pass .
Why ?
REASON - because i want to get the extra credit for not using any bathroom passes in class for the semester/quater.

Eh ~ I don't like Skagens Chemistry Class .
I'll just have to wait till 2:10 .
Imma run to the bathroom , ahaha ! (:

City Hall @ 3:30 ! (:

Veterans Day ?

woow , the veterans day video was actually pretty good .
ahaha , it made me think . . .
about how itd be like if my husband went to war .
ahemm young ! youre not going to join an army .
yeahh , well cwi ; some old same old .
cant wait till lunch ! ~

[more to come on VD ! ]

):

this is what i mean by those stupid things you do ...

ㅈㄹ

뭐!? 식구 . ㅊ 좋와하시네 . 식구라는걸 그렇게 생각해 ? 참, 어른이라도 넣무하다 정말. 식구들은 기쁠때나, 실플대나, 좋을때나, 안좋을대나 , 항상 곁에있어줘야돼는거 아니야? 오면, 들리구나 가시지, 몾산다고 이렇게 왕무시하면, 우린 뭐가돼라는거냐구? 어릴떈, 친동생쳐럼 해주고, 이젠커러 사닌간 식구가 피료없다는거야? 그리구, 어떻게 키워준분에겐, 3년+ 동안 연락도 안하구, 양노원에가도, 차자가볼 생각도안하고. 친아들이 아니라두, 친아들쳐럼, 친딸보다 더잘해줬는대, 그것도모르고, 혼자서 잘먹고잘살자는거야? ㅈㄹ 정말, 삼촌이라고 불러서 쪽팔릴정도야. 울엄마는, 씨에틀에 내려온다고 연락받은후로, 오빠들 본다고 좋아했는대, 그래서 우리한태도 삼촌들오면 잘대하라고 가르쳤는대... 오늘 아침일찍어러나서, 집 청소하고, 밥 차리느라고, 앞아도, 열심히 준비하고 있던 동생의생각도안해주고. 약속시간 몇시간 후로, 전화도 안오고, 우리가 전화를해야 연락이돼고. 오면 집으로 온다고 해서, 이름&주소도 다알려줬는대, 뭐? 깜빡했다고~ ㅊㅊ 엄마3년+동안 차자오지도 안는놈한태가서, 술많이마시시고, 잘놀고, 잘도라가새요. 사람참 병신만들고, 겁나 뻔뻔하시내~ 동생을, 동생으로 생각도안하고... ㅊ 정말 , 말이안나올만큼 , 징그렇워. 사람 무기 하는 사람 , 딱 질색이야. ㅈㄹ

4th Period - CWI Honors - Fisher

wow , i think this is the most that i have ever done in this class .
danng , always been talking to deveon .
time flew by fast !
ahaha
off to lunch !

JERK

whatever !!
youre gay .
=.=;
good night everyone .
ehh

sunday ?

another , sunday !
sike +_______+
yeeee, another sunday . . .
same routine , same routine .
blehh ~ i think its been about a year since ive been going to fgtfc .
eh - whatebbbuhhh .

leavingg soon . iono .

day and night .

Doesn't Get Any Better

it ruins the whole mood , i try to take my mind off of everything but , i just dont know what to do . theres always yelling in the house , fighting , we cant go a hour or more without fighting or arguing . even if things seem like they're getting better , just evertime it builds up , it just falls down and measures to zero . everything is just making everything single thing worse . i just need a break from everything . EVERYTHING ! I just cant take it anymore . i need someone to just lean on , blehh ~ i miss you ):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson

whateverrrr yhc pms

i seriously dont get you sometimes ,
why do you need to be so stupid . seriously , stop doing those dumb ass things that you do . sorry if you feel offended , but really . its not necessary , and its not going to help you in the future .
it was only 6:30 when i called , late ?!
ashdkadjahdlajhdljkhalsd
walking out in the pouring rain to go to his house for 35 minutes , when you just got over your cold , when the jackets you have arent thick enough to keep you warm. do yuo even know how much you worry me ?! youre off without your phone , and i have no way of contacting you. and just thinking of how much trouble you might be getting into , or the things you may be doing . when i dont even know wtf youre doing out there . forreal , youre on a long leash and im on a 1inch. cant even call me or nothing the whole day till i do something .
i dont know man

whatever just ...

whateverrrr .

back to the days where , there were no worries
where , hope and love was there for us 24/7
like the light that was upon us , giving us happiness like pain never existed
that one person was there , that made me smile again never again twisted

wanting to see how much hate and revulsion you can take
how much of a vex i am to you , filled with exasperation
delibraty knowing , how much it hurts to know that
i am that one person you wish you never met , with great desperation
e
& now with you , the one that was able to feel me and know what i feel within
the days , it was the hardest for me , you were there for me to listen
now with the time that we dont evn know how long it'll last
i sit here , taking advantage or every moment we can make as memories even when we're miles away , with pressure weighing in

i sat there once and asked crying, knowing that this was going to
happen , but you just didnt feel it
always keeping that up
never knowing the genuine

your laughter and smile , your modesty , kindness and caring self .

IMY&IS.

:D

Thank You Young Cho !

thank you , you just made my day .
talking to you makes me so happy , and takes all stress away from me .
its amazing how you can do that .
just listening to you laugh and seeing you smile , makes me feel so much lighter .

your smile --> nal byong nalra ga gae hae ~
ahahha

i love you babe (:

STRESS

Ugh , gosh . can life get any better ?! my grandma has over stoned in her kidneys, and there's something growing on her liver . so she needa to take like 500 surgeries . after great gma passed away in april , life hasnt gotten any better . uncle from canada and korea are coming and staying over at our place on monday . and theres a wedding tomorrow which i cant go to , cus im going to a leadership conference or whatever at UW . school , isnt as great . and money is always an issue . i miss so many people , and i just cant see them . so many things going on , and theres nothing that i can do about it . everyone's been getting on my last nerves lately, everything is bothering me , i just want to sleep all day . . . ehh ~ but talking him makes me feel better somewhat . but i feel so bad for him all the time , cus i dont bring out the best for him . i wish i can see him more often , all i want to do his just hold onto him for a long time , and give him a big ass hug . why cant i just stand there and hug him as long as i want .

i want my car ):

who are you

1. lets not talk about our flaws or things that we do wrong but point out the things that we do right and enjoy .
2. how come we cant just get along like we used to . i dont see why you have to be so difficult all the time . youre just a major hypocrite & and youre supercillious .
3. so many things that youve been doing has been bothering me , but you dont know . if you're really just the way that they tell me that you are , then youre just a complete crack head . but i know you wouldnt ahah
4. you ! really get on my last nerves , no one in the world would think so , but mann , i just really want to slap you across the face and beat the shit out of you
5. i love you like a brother now , i dont know what i can do without you ! (:
6. i hope no one knows about this , ahha i miss youu lil one ! (:
7. blehhh ~ i know , everyone knows . and now you know forreal , he's just a complete jerk !
8. ahahhhahhahahaahaha bitch ! just one word says it all (:
9. did you know that you were really not my first ? ahahhah lmao
10. i miss you , and youre the most precious thing that i've ever lost in my whole life . if i would take one thing back and bring it back into my life , it'd be you . even if you hate me like the fire burning in hell , i still love you with all my heart .

IB vs Running Start

RE: Nikes Recent Post

alriite , so i am debating on whether i should take full IB next year or just go for the running start . im already taking one ib class , IB Pre-Calculus , which is a college class . i want to take IB for the diplomat . and if i get the diplomat , then i have a high possibility of getting into any college/university internationaly as a sophmore . as a full running start student i can get the high school diplomat including the AA degree and go to any college or university as a junior . but the thing is , if i stick with the IB programme i still get the high school experience , and with the running start program i miss the whole high school experience . but if i take IB im going to do full IB and if i go for the running start program im going to go for full running start . i wish my parents would understand more of what is going on in my life , but i dont like them knowing about EVERYTHING about me . ehh , i just wish they knew more abuot how all of this IB and Running Start thing works , but they depend on me a whole lot to know what im suppose to do and make the right decision that i wont regret . right now , i think im leaning more towards the running start at highline , but the thing is , i dont know if highline can get all the credits that i get to the college or university that i will be going to . honestly , UW has never been on my list , but tell me why im considering it now . i wish the middle school teachers told us more about the whole college and future high school programs . and all the counselers dont know anything , and they dont seem so into our future like they are suppose to be , and they just expect to reach the average , when some of us want to go above and beyond the average and go beyond expectations for a superior . if we knew about all of this when we were younger , then we wouldve had more time to think and we wouldve known what we wanted to do by now . why is it that all of this have to hit us and complicate us the time when we are going through the most . IB or Running Start ? IB or Running Start ? what will be the best for me ? and what will I do the best in ? what is the one that i do best , benefit me , and that one thing that i will do and never regret . . . too much to think about . blehh .

my grades are killing the living hell out of me right now . . . and its almost the end of the quater . what am i going to do , why am i the way i am right now . uhhh God please help me down here .

what should i do ? somebody please help me out here ?

Nehh

Haha , so ... I guess I'm back on this blogger status ! (:
LOL , it's that time of year again , when I just feel like writing and blogging agian . Nehh , I will most likely post almost everyday (: ahaha , yeahh . well , yeahhh !!!!!!! mmmh , come and visit ! (: leave a comment . haha , i love you <3

I love my best friend Chester !!! (:

not a rhyme just.... a just because

it just hurts too much now
i cant stop it anymore
taking a chance is taking a risk
time and faith
im nothing now
with no where to go
i took a chance
and thought it was real
buh it was all wrong
i dont know what i feel
nothing that i have left of you
just your smile and tee
cries out for yuo
buh never answers
liked it better as less before
now down to zero
and no where to go
not knowing what to do
buh others know
making things harder
you and me together
was nothing but fantasy

YOUR FACE !

Yeh. Those thing that just fucking bother the shit out of me. STRESS NIGG!!!!!! I wanna go kill a pig !!!

a. you . cyh
b. what you be thinking about me . hhs
c. my favorite. ih
d. my friend . es
e. asb board . kmhs
f. health . 180 lbs
g. money . fines
h. studys . kmhs

no one else can make me smile like the way you do
nothing else can make my day like you do
your feed is all i need to take it all in and go throuugh the day
buh without it, im nothing but a body thats juss walking gone away
your all i need in my life right now
so dont leave me && make me nothing else to this world
cos i juss wanna be by yur side
&& i juss want chu to know

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!??!?!!?!?
ahahahahahhaahah
CHICKENN BUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!!!!!! :D

You

Sleepin late at night
Wanting to see your face that shines so bright
Your touch so soft
Your sweet laughter in my ears
Got me smilin so bright
Waiting for that moment
I can lose in less than one minute
Looking for something that'll take me out of it
Nuh uh, it aint happenin cus i know where it be leadin
I don't know what you be thinking
Or do I know where your eyes be lookin
But I only got chu in my mind
And you the only one that I be seeekin
Wanting to be whu at night
You always got me feellin so light
You make me hunger for yur kisses
&& your touches that got me feelin so right
Wanting to be alone & see that beautiful sight
Dont take it away too quickly,
Or may I be crying at night
All I need to do is keep holdin on ya tight
&& Do all I can to get yur feelin right
Dont be too fast, or it may not last so long
Hope to be witchu forever
Becuase I'll keep you in my heart forever and ever
I wanna keep u in my armsss porreberr and ebbberrr

WOOT!

Yeahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahaha got me phone back bitch! (:
Hahaha
TExt meeee!!! (:
numbers still the sameee (:
(253)347-9467

mann... i haventt been writing... like... forever.
Well it feels like it..
My backk hurtsss likeee aaa motherr cus of that frggnn bruisee
ahah my sholder hurtss from being on the computer for so longg
and i think im gunna die from not seetin cyh
ahaha mannn this bett
ahahaa
lol (:

Oh Man ! (:

ahaha iitee soo today. was a hella long ass day, && fckn hot too. Mann I was gunna die out there in Seattle after the baseball game. Oh man too hot too hot ahaha (: It was all good today w/ Young and Zack ahaha had fun with them two (: haha LOL. Buhh ISSSSSSAAAKKK cant even sayyy a frggnnn hi or nun. Mannn but i love that guyy though. ehh. Zacck pretty chill aha. Younggg ahahhahhaa (: OWWWWWWEEE! That one mother fucking beezy I hella wanted to beat up @ the spot, Uhhhh goshhh fuckin dislike that guy. SHIET. Buhhh besides that && Issak, eveythingg wass iite (: ahaa lol My legs are hella killing me though. Ehhhhhh, imma jusss get back on laterrr! (: hahaa peassssh (:

사랑하는 그 두분에게...

14년 이란 시간에
자족처럼 친하게
그립고, 슬픈날에
우리란 같이 있었줬든 사람들
1살때, 병원에서 다죽고 있던 절
기도로, 지금까지 살게 해드린 그 두분
정말, 그립구 좨송해요
가끔식 생각나구
맘앞아요
인사도 몾하고
좨송하다는 말도몾하고
증거도 없이 나가서 정말좨송해요
이잰, 1년이라는 시간이 벌써 지나가구
두분이 맘아파 해매고있는중엔
우린 웆고 행복해하며 사랐어요
다시 도라가고 십고, 아나주고 십어요
지금다니는댄, 처음부터 지금까지
맘에 든적도없고, 정말싫어요
이렇면 안돼지만, 어떻게 해야할줄모르겠어요
같이다니던 집사님들 그리고 친구들도 이재 다나가구
거긴, 목사님 과 사모님 밖에없잖아요
어렸을대, 친부모 들처럼
그때 까지, 많이사랑해줘서 정말 감사해요
언잰 다시 차자 뵀고십어요
저번주.. 마직막 설교라고 드렀을대
정말 맘아프고, 설래였어요
마지막 설교도 몾듣고 이대로 있어서 좨송해요
이렇게 돼고있는대, 참힘들실거에요
그래도 하나님과 함께 잘돼길 바래요
항상 제 맘안엔 두분이 꼭게실꺼에요
보고십고, 또좨송해요
그동안 정말 고마웠어요
사랑해요
-보배

FUCK YOU HOE!

YOU DUMB FUCK! DONT EVEN TALK TO ME BITCH! YOU KNOW NOTHING BOUT ME, SO STOP TALKING SHIT. MOTHER FUCKER. & STOP IT WITH THAT LOOK YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME EVERYTIME YOU SEE ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???!!! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE WOULD YOU PLEASE!

오빠

나...
가끔식 오빠 생각나더라
오빠처럼 날 걱정해준사람 없더라구
오빠랑 친했던 날들이 참 그리워
오빠의 심정 쫌 알갰지만
내가 그렇게 심했는줄은 몰랐어
오빠가 날다시 바다줄 날은 없갰지만
나의 원망은 버려 줬으면 좋갰어
오빠와나의 이년은 이잰 없겠지만
어디선가, 언재나 내가 오빠가 나한태 해준만큼
돌려줄 날이 올거라구 믿어
오빠가 이걸 일고 있으면
오빤 지금 내가또 지랄떨고 있는걸로 보이겠지만
난 진심이야
미안하구 또 미안해

미안해요-거미 Ft. TOP & SANRA PARK

If this were ever to happen to me....

UGH!!!

Uhh what thee fffcccckk.
I wanna kill someone!!!!!
What the helll!!

Because of his love...

DIET

TOFU,EDMAME BEANS & SOY MILK ONLY DIET
AS OF LAST NIGHT ! (:
FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER BREAK

The One

Wake up in the morning
&You're the first thing on ma mind
I dream of you everytime
&I talk to you at night
&You're the last soul
Before my sweet dream that keeps me tight
You the man of my dreams
Cus you the only one that can take me to the extreme
All those sweet talks
Long talks and jokes at night
Got me feelin so tight
You make me feel this way
& I fell for you that night
When you told me bout her
It was iite
Cus it was nothing but lust at first sight
It was nothin big cus it was not so big
Untill that day you told me
I didnt think she was outta yur mind
I didnt mind, since it wasnt the first time
Kept talking, and you kept asking
Making things harder for me until last night
Got me feelin so light but heavy at the same time
Until you said those words to me
That kept me holdin ya tight
Thought that you always be messin around
But I guess I should let that aside
And let things slide
Keep holdin on, keepin you by my side
Be my guide and dont let me by
Not too serious I keep my self under da line
Just to let chu know
It was you along as you may have not known
Keep me secure

One Step Late

Yellin and screamin
Not knowing where we be going
Stressin and Drinkin
Now hungover walking
In the streets at night
Not knowing where it be leading
Looking for someone
To help her out
But no one hears her yelping
Screaming her lungs out
Hoping that someone would hear
Her innermost feelings
Which a single soul has never leaned in to hear
Now alone in the streets at night
Dont know where to go
She looks for a booth to call him up
To tell him and clear things up with wassup
Drowzed in tears
Lookin high
She puts the phone down with the busy tone
Now walkin into da one way street
She hears nothin but her soul talkin
Thinks of how he turned out the way he did
Headlightss shinning so bright
In her eyes, the light turns white
Now she lays in the side of the street with a body no soul

As of Last Night

I wonder what it is sometimes
Smilin' all the time
Always has that nice swag
Anytime I passes by
Cus the way you talk, got me think why...
---------------------------------------------
All of our little talks
Those jokes and all those falls
I never thought that you would call
Because I knew you wouldnt do that all
Got to climb over that big ass rock
That always blocked my path
But I overcame that symied path
Got me thinking how I got through all that
& I got to see that light
All those little fight we had
That got me stressin all the time
Wasnt much of a big deal
But tell me why I was trippin all the time
Late night calls and IMing all night
Got me thinkin why
What am I doing tonight
I don't know how I got here
& tell me why you be
Always be trippin over things not meant to be
Seein your face at night
With your cousins on the side
Seeing your smile got me feelin light
But now that we're not like we use to be
Hope we can stick together like
As friends that are meant to be
Keep those promises dont be hurtin my feelings
No more clowning cus you know where I be
Don't be surprised when you see
Them yellow vans when it comes to be
The day your blow yur candles and make a wish to be
i lub you Issak Han
Dont trip cus I said guy.
Dont be in sensation
Nor in hesitation
Cus we both know now
Neither in cuiriosity
I didnt take it seriously
Hahahahahhahaa LMAO

ex.est O7202k9 Hahaha

Thank You !

From : Dongseng [Zack Han]
To : Noona [Sandra lee]
---------------
as the day goes by i got nuthin in my mind
whatever i do seems as though as im jus wastin time
untill the day i met u and ur eyes that twinkle so bright
ur confidence, ur swagger tight,
the way u wanna stay up all night
lik u said we got chemistry i cant reely explain
got my head all rattled turnin sunshine into rain
im glad to be ur stress reliver its an honor to me
and wakin up to ur alarm is lik a sweet melody
but im goin in 2 weeks may never see you again
but im sure we will cus u and i will always be friends
dam im so confused i hope i never forget
the way u talk, the way you look, or i may regret
lik i said its hard to say wat you mean to me
the way u move yo body got me feelin so free
the way you laugh, ur sexxy side sometimes i wonder
but the way it feels inside me, mite as well be hungover
the cute and nerdy, weird and funny things got me thinkin
is this fo real? am i awake? cus it seems lik im dreamin
no more english comes to mind so han gul mal ha jah



ahahaha sike im jus playin, u kno i dont kno korean noona
----------------------------------------------------------
[awhhh man... dis kidd ahahahha. thx ! (: ]
hahaha

Its For My Boo Foo! (: aha

You are my sunshine
Over the dazzling sky
Under the sheet at night aha SIKE!
Nobody can do like you
G stat. like you, no one can do
---------------------------------------
So Original
Undefinable
Its all in between the lines
Take a glass of wine
& you'll see why
So fresh and clean
Got Swag
Walks like dat
Aberattion from all the others
So fresh and fly
Got style
So Nasty
Your eyes just so dazzlin
Your voice so sexy
& you dont know why
Your laughter in my ears
Like the echos from the bells of hill tops high
You make me wanna fly to the sky
Nothing but your shadows that I follow
Like little kids steppin on the footsteps of their mothas
I follow your way as a older brotha
Aha Sike!
Wake up calls
Dun work, so just falls
But worth it in the morning
To wake my self up in the downfall
Its all on it with the vibe
Keeps us sticking together
Forever and ever
Looking towards to seeing that light
When we go to get down
Instead of popping thizz at night
I say I love ya
But really, you know that I need ya
Cus evertime we see each other
You know how I feel
My hands & your head
May not sound so right
But you know what it equals
When it comes to time
You know it is right
& you feel it tight
You fall in love
As I give you my all
Not as fast as the waterfall
Take it nice and slow
And we'll end up...
In that place where we both
Fantasize of
The place that we dream of
That everlasting place
That we know we wanna see each otha
& stay together forever and ever
So keep hangin on
Just try as hard
To keep us together
As long as we must
Eternallly
Just so naturally
We'll be holdin on
Untill the world do us part

Respond to Your Request.

As the day goes by
I got nothing in my mind
& I think of how
You got into my life
I take a deep breath
before I let it go
The rhymes that I have
My mind thats filled with sick flows
------------------------------------
Its the chemestry
That keeps us meant to be
So strong
Cant calculate how long it be
You. My stress reliever
My breather
My smile giver
& My joy minder
Miles away but its okay
Cus we can put things together
easy, just like clay
First attempt
& I wanna say
Your the first to ask
Just after the 1st day
"IMs recieved" while I was offline
I read the lines
& gave me the 1st smile
Like I havent smiled in a while
You make me laugh
You're the daily feed
So lets keep our relationship together
Like it's meant to be
I may not be the best
But I try to be
We may be states away
But lets not make this easy to flee
**

Just One Wish

I can’t get you off of my mind
Seems like you have what it takes to be on my mind
Can’t concentrate or think of anything else
Indefinable thoughts that I feel
When I saw you I never thought
That you would be here in my life, a place that never existed
When you appear in my life out of no where
I never thought that you would be stuck in here
When you say that you love me
I hesitate and I feel that I can not think of anything else
The scent that was left behind when you turned around
The memory that you left in my life
Should’ve enjoyed that time while I still had it
Never thought that you would appear in my mind so much
You’re the only one that can make me smile or laugh
Even if you don’t see what am I’m trying to make you see
Have you ever thought that I would be like the way I am
I never pictured us being like the way we are
Confusing myself with the feelings I have
Not knowing that I can be so cheap and easy
To you I know that I can be better
Every time you whisper into my ear
I close my eyes and lean towards to hear
When you say “don’t be” I feel this way
The way I feel when I say I am sorry
Wanna say that I love you so
Wanna say that I want you so
Wanna say that I want you here in my life
Won’t you come back and stay in my life

Cus every time we hold on tight
I feel that I can be more alive
You give me pride every time you say ok
I won’t let go this time I’ll keep holding on you tight

Another, Simple Act

What is it that I feel
Do I have to take every meal
Is there anything I need to keep
What is there for you to weep
What have I done to deserve this
Was I really the one to reserve this
The outside
The inside
The real meaning
The true feeling
The darkness
The brightness
Just one place
Just one person
Just one thing
Will it pile up
Is it going to show anytime soon
Will I be able to see
Will we ever meet
Why is it that I beg
What is it that I will get
Why am I still here
Do I really not exist
Where is the end to this act
Is this really the fact
Have you seen the past
Is it still there sitting on the same rack
Have you already moved on
Like it was nothing but a rock
Doesn’t at least one person see
Is it really that hard to realize
Do you really have to try to minimize
Can I really just run looking forward
What is it, when I know I am going to trip
Does anyone hear
Will anyone ever listen
Why is it so hard
Is it really that bad

the "thing"

You were the only person for me
It was all misunderstanding between
It was all the truth
Just until it got to be brutal
You were the only thing for me
It was all the heart-ship that took us
It was all the love
Just until it got to the limit
Thinking of just how horrifying this may be
Staying up all night just thinking about one thing
Taking up all the pain that you may be feeling
I just want to tell you
I just want to show you
I just want to let you know
But you were so sure about things
You jumped to conclusions and I was speechless
You didn’t seem like the kind of person
You didn’t seem like you would be as crucial
Putting things in a puzzle
Setting things so that you would understand
Trying to put things together so that I can tell you in a way that you would understand
Why am I trying to hard
Why can’t I just move on
Why is that I am still here standing in the same place
Are you already moving on
Are you thinking the same thing that I am thining
Were you feeling the same why that I was feeling
Was it really all just a little dream
Was I a princess in wonderland just for a second
It just all seems like it could be fantasy
You may not know but you’ve been the biggest impact
You were my first and I didn’t know
When I am with you there is nothing else in my head
When I see others talking bad about you
I take your back
When I don’t know that in the hell is going on this world
I look at our picture
My mind clears out and I see a smile on my face
You were the only to tell me
And you were the only one that I heard anything like that from
Do you really hate me that much
Does one thing like this really have to get in the way of us
Were we just something to forget
Was it just something that was the moment
Have you thought of how I would feel
A betrayer?
Really?
Are you for reals?
I beg for so much
Was I going to the other way
I wish you would just give me the time for me to explain
But I guess you just don’t want to listen
I was never so afraid of anything
I would wonder if you would take just a simple greeting from me
Or if you would even say anything back
I would think so hard on things
But others would tell me
I didn’t know until something hit me
I don’t know why I need you so much right now
I will never forget you
I will try everything to get to know it
But please don’t change so much
Please don’t move on too fast
Please don’t forget about me
Please don’t be too happy
Please just give me that time
… I haven’t even said what I have wanted to

The Way You Make Me Feel

You were my only true lover
Just one thing got in between our friendship
All that was in between was skin-ship
Those lies that I made
Those acts that I played
I thought that you would understand
But I guess you didn’t approve of that
As time went pass
You didn’t see what I had come in the past
I did those things that were the best for you
I guess it wasn’t doing the best that I thought it would do for you
It was because I thought that I was doing the right thing
But I guess it wasn’t the realistic thing
All I did was fantasize
The best for you
Was the worst for you
Maybe I should’ve just said it
Then maybe it would’ve been different
I was so stubborn
You were just too concerned
You didn’t go with my flow
And my plans didn’t work out the way that I formed
Just a little but closer
Just a little bit faster
Nothing ever works out
We’ve been through this much already
Imagine how far we would go in the time being
Can you imagine where we would be
Can you see where we would be
Those looks that we gave to each other
I thought that you would’ve really known how I felt
I really thought that you were the real part of me
You were able to laugh and smile
You laughed and smiled like it was nothing
I wasn’t able to smile or laugh
But I saw that you were able to laugh
Ha-ha-ha
I was never able to laugh and I never had a real smile
I cant find that smile anymore
I cant hear the real laughter anymore
But I guess you can still see yours
I see you’re deserving what you deserve
Just make the best of it
Just don’t show it
And please don’t be so happy

A Thousand Smiles & A Thousand Tears

The fake smiles
The walks in the mile
I haven’t seen the real one
As you haven’t seen me as the one
The pictures that we take
The memories we make
Look into them and think
They may leave in just a blink
The worst may remain
But what is there that we can claim
Just as you left
I haven’t seen the best
Will we meet in the new world
As the wind whorls
The meaning behind those eyes
The clouds that I see in the sky
I feel the pain
As it rains
I pray
But I end up being the prey
The feelings
Those meaning
The love
Those move
The regrets
That we forget
As the memories fade
I don’t see what we have made
As I see those frowns
Looks like make up on a clown
It smears
And all I see is a blur
It fogs up and I cant see it anymore
I don’t see where we were
I want to go back
I run back
I try not to look back
But I just cant help but get you off my mind
No one can help
There is no one that is willing to yelp
As I wish
There is nothing more to fish
Should I just stay
Or leave it as they must say
Will anyone understand
Do I just sit here
Or will it again appear?

STFU BITCH !

Mannn WTF. Stop it with that fucking look you give me all the time. If you don't wanna tell me wasssup then just... STOP! If you have a problem with me then just tell me strait up! I don't wanna deal with people like you. I don't even care what you think abuot me as of now. But I just want you to know that, you don't know anything about me & so you shuoldnt' be hating on me. So STFU Bitch and back off.

유치한...

하지도 안은 일들을 갑자기 다하구...
별난 짓을다하고 않자있구...
이상한 생각도하구...
듯지도 몾하구, 해보지도 안한말도 다끄내 하구...
왠일이니, 정말.

하루종일 보고십다구 질질매구...
하루종일 치사하고, 유치한 짓만하고...
니 목소리 듯고십어 별짓을다하구...
너의 모습이 이리 그리워서 하지도 안을 짓을 다하고 않자있구...
바보 쳐럼 이렇개 있다는게 밎겨지지가 안아.

어떻개 해서 이렇게 됀건지, 정말모르갰어...
누가와서 날좀 구해줬으면 좋갰다.

일이어떻개 꼬여져서, 내가 이러고 있는거니.
정말... 미쳐. 미치갰어.

- 유치한 사랑.
너.